You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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