I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
