my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I got inside last night via doggy door
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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