Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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