ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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