just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
