We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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