remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My dick has a subreddit
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
