The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
