Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize