i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
