Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
