I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
