Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
