Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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