I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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