Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
