Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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