those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
