Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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