So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
