Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
