i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
is it fun? or sober?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
