You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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