you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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