party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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