I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
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