I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
