I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
