Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
