Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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