u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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