Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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