All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
