is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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