im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
