He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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