Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
