Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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