people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
