That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
