his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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