dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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