So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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