and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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