just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize