Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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