absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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