It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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