cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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