I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's never too late to be topless.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
