"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize