In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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