They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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