Small penises have feelings too.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize