Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
