We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize