I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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