Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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