new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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