Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
