I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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