Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
